..THE FOREST AROUND US
The loggers’ travel advisor........
by Bill Moore....
....In a recent discussion of worldly
affairs, I asked my old friend, Cornelius Burke, travel consultant and
bon vivant, if he would condescend to an interview concerning loggers’
...Moore: Mr. Burke, what advice can
you give a young chap from one of our up-coast logging camps who
do not speak of logging camps. Why is that?
decides to spend his hard earned money on a trip to some exotic land?
....Burke: Go back to camp!
....Moore: Yes, well let’s say the chap has pulled the pin, and with pockets a-jingle has decided to head for the war-mer climes. May we have your recom-mendations?
....Burke: Tell him to empty his pockets on the floor of the Central city Mission.
....Moore: I suppose one should see Canada first. Can you give our readers a good reason?
....Burke: Yes, it may not be around very much longer.
....Moore: Are there good opportunities for our young loggers in the forests of Russia? Kindly name one.
....Burke: Cookhouse Commissar.
....Moore: How does one address a logger behind the Iron Curtain?
....Burke: In comradely fashion.
....Moore: How does one say “did you get a lot of logs today? In Turkey?
....Burke: Allah giveth and Allah taketh away.
|BILL MOORE (left) swaps a few tall tales with well known travel advisor and personality, Cornelius Burke.|
British Columbia Lumberman, November, 1979
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - (. page break )
....Moore: With the Canadian dollar dropping and the sun also rising – would you recommend travel in Japan for our young logger? If so, what can they learn about life from the Japanese?
....Burke: If they can turn away from carnal pleasures, they could learn some-thing which could revolutionize logging practices as we know them in the western world. And that is – how to fell trees with one karate chop.
....Moore: When traveling in a strange land – let’s say Afghanistan – what would you advise your client to do if he (or, bless us, she) came down with the shingles or the shakes?
....Burke: Because of _____ costs, there are really no answers to these problems which are entirely satis-factory. If one comes down, I can only recommend that one attempt to nail it down. But, that’s a simplistic view.
....Moore: Do you often have the great pleasure of running into prominent members of the B.C. logging fraternity in your travels?
....Burke: No, I must confess that they seem to avoid me, but once – and before they could escape – I stumbled across Arthur Bendickson, Alan Trethewey and Gordon Draeseke in Moscow. That was nice for me.
....Moore: Looking back now, what do you consider to be the greatest contribution Canada has made to the world logging scene?
....Burke: Well, I’d rather not get into the technicalities of logging, nor be drawn into making individual compar-isons, at this point in time. But, if I might make an observation of a more general nature, I would say that Canada has made a highly significant contribution to world stability and, consequently, to the over-all health of the logging industry by just being there.
For, if you were to imagine Canada as being a non-existent country – if we were simply not here at all – then there would be nothing to stop say the Chinese sailing over and invading Sweden. Fair boggles the mind.
....Moore: If it were left to you – and I’m beginning to wonder if anything should be left to you – from what country would you recommend we en-courage immigration of workers for our forest industry? Tibet? Antarctica?
Burke: I don’t think we can attract potential loggers from Antarctica or Tibet. People in those countries don’t
even know who we are. They haven’t a clue. Marshall McLuhan (who is one of the greatest Canadians the United States has ever produced) said that “Canada is the only country in the world which knows how to live without an identity.” And the late Mr. Al Capone, a one-time resident of Chicago, remarked with some asperity, “I don’t even know which street Canada is on.”
....And the late Miss Marilyn Monroe, of Hollywood, California, remarked vaguely, “I think Canada is up in the mountains someplace.”
....These are but a random selection of quotes from well-known citizens to illustrate what a low profile we manage to maintain.
Yes, I see. Now tell our readers – if you can – what country
would you recommend our young – or old – loggers and their
wives visit on their honeymoons
Keep out of the bight,
|British Columbia Lumberman, November, 1979||